I used to think gift knitting was a bit bananas. Knitting takes so very much time; it’s like spending 8-12 hours (or more) of pay on a single gift! So how could I justify spending both the yarn dollars and the inordinate amount of precious time it takes to knit something for someone else? Not to mention the long lists of people Alexa sometimes knits gifts for! (This is me giving you some serious side eye, partner!)
But at some point, without even really noticing, my mind changed. Perhaps age, parenthood, and doing my darnedest to take myself less seriously has filed down a few of my uncomfortably hard edges. Regardless, at some point, I decided I LOVED knitting gifts. So what changed?
Every gift I make is actually for ME
So why do I knit gifts? I don’t do it because I really need a gift for someone. I do it because, quite simply, it is a gift to myself – the joy of selecting the materials, the fun of the design, and the time I spend enjoying knitting. As I knit, I think on how I love and value the recipient. If the whole process weren’t a joy, it wouldn’t make any sense at all! You can never control if somebody will like your gift, so you need to love it yourself.
Now, every gift I make, I make for myself.
Give gifts lightly
Given the expense in both money and time that goes into a hand-knit, it’s natural to expect a fireworks display of praise, thanks, and admiration when you gift that beautiful thing. That’s totally natural! But beware – it can leave you sadly disappointed.
Perhaps your precious gift will be stuffed into a cupboard because the style wasn’t quite right. Perhaps it will find its way to a second-hand shop where somebody else will find and adore it. Or maybe, just maybe, the person you made it for will love it and wear it daily until it’s all used up. But it’s best not to hand over gifts loaded with the weight of your own expectations. It’s a gift, not a burden. If you can gift a knit with this kind of lightness, you can even allow the person who receives it to feel happiness in passing it along if it’s not quite right for them.
Your gift doesn’t (or at least shouldn’t) say: “Here, have this thing I made for you! BUUUUUUUUT now please give me the response I expect in return. Give me payment in the form of attention, thanks, and praise – and also of course please wear the thing, even if it’s not your style!”
The giftee is making the best of a difficult situation 🤣
Think about it this way: the recipient of your knitted gift was just sitting there, innocent and happy, before you shocked them with a hand-knit gift.
If their response isn’t what you’d hoped, it’s not their fault! Perhaps they have no idea how much time and money that shawl took to make, so out of ignorance, they’re not sufficiently effusive and prostrate in their thanks. Or, worse still, they DO know how many hours and dollars went into the (ugly) little scarf, and they’re caught between a rock and a hard place. All they can think is, “How can I get out of this gracefully…?!”
I suggest that if you love someone (or love knitting gifts), set them free! Your gift says, “I love you; you matter to me. Have this thing I made, because I care.” And that’s all that matters.
Are YOU knitting gifts?
If you’re knitting gifts, have you ever thought to focus more on how much you love to do it than on the recipient’s possible response? What kind of items do you like to knit to gift? Let us know in the comments!
Great gift knits from Tin Can Knits:
Snowglobe hat
Rye Light
Sunshine hat
Timber
Beloved
Antler mittens
December 14, 2022 @ 10:16 am
Thanks so much for sharing your view on knitting gifts! I am new to knitting, so have only knit small gifts so far (hats, gloves) and feel nervous gifting them. I worry that my expectations of their response will far outweigh the actual response. (I mean, “it took me two days to knit this small hat with this beautiful tweed yarn chosen in a color especially for you…I hope you are as excited to receive it as I was to make it”. Hah!) Luckily, I have a kind and loving family, and they will likely gush with thanks, regardless of whether they realize the hours of work that went into the making of said item. My hope is that if it’s really not for them, that they can pass it on to someone who will love it and enjoy it and wear it until it is no longer wearable. Knit love!
December 11, 2022 @ 9:14 am
I fully agree with you. That said, there are some people who love my style and the knits, and I knit for them without any reservations. If I’m new to knitting for someone, I make sure to say, “if this isn’t perfect for you, feel free to pass it on.”
December 10, 2022 @ 2:57 am
I love making gifts for people. This year I’ve made scarves for my mum, mother in law, nan and husband’s nan, stuffed toys for my nephews and socks for my daughter. I never know if people will like them or not, you’re right it’s definitely a risk that they won’t… but I like your thoughts about not setting your own expectations too high, and making sure you enjoy the making process itself.
December 9, 2022 @ 8:35 am
Thank you for these important words. I must admit having those unrealistic expectations, tacked onto my knitted gifts. Your words, reflect the way I feel, when I’m in the process part of the project. I’m enjoying the feel of the yarns themselves: I won’t ever knit with anything scratchy, it gives me no joy. The colors are always pleasing: ugly yarns can usually be marled to look great!
My latest projects have been cowls, to give to the aids in my mothers Alzheimer’s unit. I’m blending all sorts of stash leftovers yarns to make a beautiful soft super bulky weight yarn.
It’s fun!
December 9, 2022 @ 4:39 am
I love this post. My wife often asks why I put myself through making knitted projects to gift, especially as I’m cursing a difficult section, and you’ve given me the why. Thank you. ❤️
December 8, 2022 @ 6:40 pm
This really spoke to me as I rush to finish the last Christmas knit gift of this season.
This year (as just a recreational knitter) I have knit 2 knitted adult tops, and 2 “Harry Potter” Weasley initials sweaters for both grandsons, 5 pairs of socks that were test knits, 4 more pairs that weren’t test knits, 5 pairs of fingerless gloves and it still bugs me when nobody responds “appropriately”.So my goal for this gifting season is to “knit them and set them free!
Thank you
Grannieannie1
December 8, 2022 @ 4:22 pm
When I knit a gift I think about all the adventures that recipient might have while wearing the knitted item. And I think about how much I love appreciate or admire them. But in the last five years I have stopped knitting for people who don’t even say thank you. I have to assume that they strongly dislike the items and don’t want any more. So more time to make much needed knitted things for me to wear.
December 8, 2022 @ 2:40 pm
I loved reading this article! And it is a very true issue for knitters. The main argument for not knitting for others is that they will never be able to appreciate the work that goes into a hand made article. Nor the cost of good wool. So I very rarely will knit for someone else, A new baby or a new love! However, I do have to admit when I have gifted my knitting to someone I’m willing to knit something for, it has always given me my greatest pleasure!
December 8, 2022 @ 1:01 pm
I needed this reminder. Thank you.
December 8, 2022 @ 12:49 pm
Absolutely the wisest post! It can be hard to “let go” in the way Emily describes, but it is so very important to do that.